Statement of principles

People seeking help through the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project have a right to know what values and beliefs underlie the project.

What we believe about divorce

  • Divorce is usually an attempt to solve a problem that people think can’t be solved in any other way.
  • Some divorces are necessary in order to prevent further harm in a destructive relationship.
  • Some divorces are ultimately unavoidable because one party decides on divorce despite the wishes of the other party.
  • Some people behave destructively enough over a long time that they lose their claim on their spouse’s commitment.
  • However, many of today’s divorces could be prevented if both parties took steps to work on their marriage before it was too late.

What we believe about marriage

  • Healthy, life-long marriage has unique value for individuals, families and communities.
  • Life-long commitment is especially difficult in today’s throwaway culture.
  • Children have an important stake in the health and endurance of their parents’ marriage. 
  • Marital commitment brings obligations to work on a troubled marriage before giving up.

What we believe about healing

  • Human beings have the capacity to move past anxiety, distrust, and hostility and relate to each other from our highest selves.
  • Restoring a marriage must not come at the expense of one of the partners.  Love and fairness must go hand in hand.
  • The key is whether both spouses want to restore the marriage to health.
  • When both spouses devote themselves fully and with proper help to restoring their marriage to health, they can usually make it. 

Please also visit our frequently asked questions page for more information.