Mental Health

Staying emotionally and mentally balanced during college is difficult, especially during the transition into higher education and again when students prepare to leave college. Students tend to forget about or postpone their own self-care and needs. They neglect their mental health, believing that they don’t have time to deal with stress and anxiety. Often, students don’t reach out to talk about what they are experiencing because they worry about what people will think. They may believe that they should be able to work through difficult times themselves. They think that if they can’t handle the stress, they aren’t strong enough. And they don’t want to worry or disappointment their family. Parents help if they acknowledge and talk about signs that their student seems overwhelmed. When you talk about what you’re seeing, your student can see that you care and that you’re concerned, not disappointed in them. With your support and encouragement, your student is likely to be more willing to seek help. First- and second-year college students typically do not have the life skills they need to work through new situations entirely on their own. Asking for help is the best way to get the assistance they need. At the same time, they can be learning how to take care of themselves for the future. So make sure you’re available--by phone or online if not in person.

Warning Signs

Signs of stress and depression can manifest in a variety of ways, sometimes depending on the person and the culture they are from. Parents know their student best, so take these signs as clues to watch out for, but know it’s not a comprehensive list of symptoms and should not be used as a way to diagnose your student. Many of these symptoms are also common responses to any major life transitions. It’s when these symptoms start to interfere with a student’s ability to function that they are more concerning and consideration should be given to seeking help. Mood symptoms:

Irritability
Lack of motivation
Increased tearfulness or crying
Sadness
Hopelessness
Trouble concentrating
Fearfulness
Feelings of suicide

Physical symptoms:

Headaches
Excessive tiredness
Upset stomach
Indigestion
Body aches, muscle tension
Lack of appetite or overeating
Poor sleep (too much or too little)

Behavioral:

Not attending classes
Change in online presence
Initiation of alcohol use, smoking, or gambling
Significant change in attitude toward family

Common Mental Health Experiences Among College Students

Depression
Anxiety
Substance Abuse
Eating Disorders
Adjustment disorders
Bipolar disorder
Insomnia
Gambling
Problematic Internet use

How to talk about sensitive issues

Often students express their stress and anxiety through repeated and intense dissatisfaction with the school, their roommates or classmates, faculty or exhibit irritability, mood swings, and changes in how they relate to you as their parents or concerned family members. You know your student better than anyone and you may pick up on some cues that your son or daughter is having a difficult time before others notice. While it is typical for many young adults to seek independence from their families and avoid discussing things that are not going well, students do need the emotional support and love that only their family can provide.

“The top two barriers found by the National Alliance on Mental Illness for students to seek out mental health services and supports were stigma (36%) and having a busy schedule (34%)” (NAMI, 2012)

It can be challenging for parents and for students to talk about the possibility that the student needs help. Here are some suggestions on talking with your student:

Choose a time to talk when things are not rushed, and where your student can talk to you privately.
Don't avoid bringing up the subject of stress and mental health concerns. Acknowledge that you know this can be a stressful time in your child’s life and ask directly how they are handling the stress and if they are OK. If you have reason to be concerned, express your concern in specific, nonjudgmental ways. Be honest and direct; say what you mean, and mean what you say.
The most helpful messages you can offer your student are “I love you,” “I believe in you,” “I care about how you are doing,” and if your student is struggling, “I want you to get some help.”
If your student shares some difficult information with you, the most helpful response is to calmly and carefully listen to what he or she is saying. It can be difficult to listen without interrupting or let your own internal thoughts interfere, but it is important to attend to what your student is saying. It is helpful to acknowledge that what your student is thinking and feeling about their situation is their experience, even if you have a different perspective.
Offer non-judgmental support. You may have your own internal reactions, which are completely natural for a parent to have (such as not approving of a choice your student made or feeling angry that your student is not doing well academically). But expressing those in the moment to your student is more likely to shut down the communication than lead to helpful support and problem solving.
Be knowledgeable of and encourage your student to take advantage of the resources available at the college to help students succeed.
Offer to help your student in whatever ways you can to help them cope.
Communicate hope by reminding your student that there are always options, you believe they can get through this difficult time, and that things tend to look different with time and action.

This information was originally compiled by Glenn Hirsch, Ph.D., L.P., Director of Student Counseling Services, University of Minnesota.